I often don't speak to people I walk by in the morning because I don't think they would want to talk to me or I can't understand why they might want to talk to me. I feel that I'm one of the nameless, faceless crowd. Part of the background noise of life rushing by at great speed. My holding back from pushing forth the effort to be at least cordial to people I don't know makes me miss out on the story these people's lives have to tell. Every one of us has a story to tell with our lives and I'm fascinated with people and what drives them or pushes them to do what they have done with themselves.
I'll admit that once I get in my comfort zone with another person, I'll talk your ear off, I would darn near give you the shirt off my back if you needed it. I'm not "unfriendly". I don't go out of my way to do harm to people I don't know but I also don't go out of my way to say "hello" to them either. I usually let people I don't know speak to me first or make the first interaction with me.
Even on Facebook, I'm a bit standoffish.....my "About you" information states "Just because I know you or attended school with you doesn't mean I will automatically befriend you on Facebook. If I don't know you somehow other than Facebook, there is a better than average chance I won't befriend you on Facebook in most cases." I have caught flack about that statement more than once from more than one person. My whole point of all of that is this: Just because we spent 11 or 12 years walking the hallowed halls of our esteemed public school but we really didn't have a "relationship" of any type beyond that does not a friendship make! You have to be a friend of an Facebook friend to even see the friendship button on my Facebook page! In my mind, there is a difference between being an acquaintance and being a true friend. Some people don't get that simple concept.....
Even this blog can't be searched for with Google. A stranger couldn't find this blog if they tried. I must think it is worth something because I keep writing it but I hide my "light under a basket" and cheat myself from the blessings I might get from writing this blog!
The only exception I've made to that Facebook friends rule has to do with people who might know about my family tree or if I can help them with their family tree OR the members of the ZL-OA motorcycle form OR you have to be Varda Epstein. Varda is a friend of a friend (you know who you are Susan McElvanney). I admire Varda and her husband, Dov. More than anyone else I know, Varda and Dov live their convictions on a daily basis. They put their "money where their mouth is" so to speak. Varda's blog is a good one The guys at ZL-OA have helped me when they didn't know me and I've been able to give help back to people who are trying to keep an almost 30 year old motorcycle running. They have given without expectation of getting anything back from me and I have given to them without the expectation of getting anything back from them.
These actions (or lack of actions) has to stop. I can't go on living life shutting out most of the people I'm around. It isn't normal and it isn't healthy for my spirit or my spiritual life going forward. Life is an effort and I'm going to have to put forth the effort to stop holding the world at arm's length.
I need to push myself forward until being "friendly" becomes my comfort zone.
I need to show a side of myself that is "of good cheer" on a daily basis so people can see the Lord in my life. I need to put my best foot forward, not because I "have to" but because it is the RIGHT thing to do. As the Bible says in Galatians 5:22 and 23
Wish me luck.
J.
These actions (or lack of actions) has to stop. I can't go on living life shutting out most of the people I'm around. It isn't normal and it isn't healthy for my spirit or my spiritual life going forward. Life is an effort and I'm going to have to put forth the effort to stop holding the world at arm's length.
I need to push myself forward until being "friendly" becomes my comfort zone.
I need to show a side of myself that is "of good cheer" on a daily basis so people can see the Lord in my life. I need to put my best foot forward, not because I "have to" but because it is the RIGHT thing to do. As the Bible says in Galatians 5:22 and 23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.I must move forward from this point. Now is the time, today is the day and I am the loser if I don't accomplish this task in my life.
Wish me luck.
J.
But, you are moving forward! You went to a Wednesday night dinner at church without me, sat and ate and talked at length, as you told me, with people you either didn't know, or people that have said Hello to us in church, or just shared a few words with. And you did it with just YOU! I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteI understand where you are coming from. I have worked with a lot of people over the years but there are precious few that I would "drink a beer with" outside of working hours. I have a lot of acquaintences but precious few friends.
ReplyDeleteJohnny, you HONOR me with your hard-to-earn friendship. I hope I can continue to live up to your trust, your goodness.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, I felt so guilty when you sent me a friend request over that ridiculous thread (Hu knew) because once I accepted you thought you'd be making friends with someone who was a laugh a minute, but in reality, would be spamming you with lots of political pro-Israel postings.
The fact that you insisted on sticking by me said and continues to say something huge about your character.
You and Randi are two of the finest human beings I have ever known. Thank you for inviting me into your circle.
But, VARDA, you are a laugh a minute. you can even post something political and you make it come out funny in some way or another. Hu knew how it would all turn out.
ReplyDeleteRobert, You said it, brother. I've been told that a few people from my last job were quite hacked off that I didn't except their friendship request on Facebook. These were people I had done computer work for and I thought that the only time they would talk to me was when there computer was broken . I did have a friend on FB that worked at the college I went to. As you know Francis Marion 1.5 hours from Sumter, where I used to live. After I Graduated, I got a call begging me to come get their computer because it was broken....I didn't work at FMU or get a job in Florence but it was expected that I would travel all that way pick up the computer and take it back to them when it was fixed....er....NO....not this week and next week ain't looking good either!
ReplyDelete