Thankful

Today, I'm am very thankful.  I have every right to feel thankful today (even if the thermostat was in the away mode and the house got down to 65 degrees f before the heat came on, this being the coldest day in a while at 22 degrees f!) I'm home and have my wonderful wife, Randi, beside me sleeping.

It hasn't always been this way.  Being in the U.S. Air Force from 1984 - 2000, I've missed holidays, family birthdays, anniversaries and anything that happened back in the "land of the big BX".  I've sat in a tent, halfway around the world and cried tears that no one else saw or knew about at the time.  In a time before skype and hangout, I sent home a 15 minute VHS tape to my 1st wife and son.  I still have that tape and I've only watched it once in 22 years since the end of the Gulf War.  I remember recording that tape. They had a tent set up with 6 "booths" in it with a VHS camera on a tripod and a chair in front of the camera.  The booths were not a proper recording booth but a tent that had been sectioned into partitions and a hallway down the middle of the tent. I can't remember if the booths had a sheet or a door facing the hallway. (It could have been both as the tent city changed and grew/improved the whole 7 months and 5 days I called that patch of desert home).

The reason I won't watch that VHS Tape is I am VERY uptight in that recording in an uncomfortable sort of way.  I would guess in the comfort of your own home you just can't believe that you were once so "uptight".  I have described myself in that tape as being "wound up tight as a banjo string"....  I don't remember being that wound up but the only reason I can think of for being that tense is just the unknown we faced on a daily basis.  We had no idea when we would be home. I had a set of orders that said I would be there a month but I fully well expected to be in the "AOR" (Area of responsibility) for a year.

I can't say that trip overseas was all that bad. We darn near lived in a country club, except for the fact we lived and ate in tents. They fed us very well and we had steak almost every friday. I can say I ate the best shrimp gumbo I've ever had during Desert Shield/Desert Storm.  We had such a good site set up the Army used to come to our tent city for a weekend of R&R...However, it wasn't home.  I have to give the 363FW from Shaw AFB and the Air Force mad props. They tried every way in the world to ensure we had other things to do OTHER than support our flying effort. We had a movie tent and an NCO club. We had a beer ration of one 12 oz. beer a night (The U.A. E. were a more moderate country that Saudi Arabia). Almost anytime after duty hours you could find a volleyball game going on in tent city. We had a book tent that you could swap one book for another book. We even had a weight lifting tent...and still yet, it wasn't home.

Speaking of the book tent. At the time I was into reading military fiction. Stephen Coonts was my favorite author (His most well known book is "Flight of the Intruder" it was made into a movie that did the book no justice!) I picked up a book one day in the book tent called "Team Yankee" by Harold Coyle. It was about an Army tank team fighting a ground war in the same geographic area we were defending!  I read that book and it was a bit too much like art imitating life, my real life at the time! That book scared me pretty badly considering just where I was living at the time.....Oh well, I never said I was S-M-R-T smart.

I couldn't write about being away from home without mentioning my good friend and brother from another mother, Jim Matthews.  Jim kept me sane during that tense time of 7 months and 5 days away from home. I believe he would say the same about me.  We left Shaw AFB at different times and I didn't see him again until a few days after I had arrived in the U.A.E.  Seeing Jim was like seeing home. We spent hours of time together before the war and us being together in this great unknown just seemed to be one of the puzzle pieces that fit for me. He had a computer in his tent just like the one I had at home, an Atari 1040st. An affordable Macintosh work alike that was one heck of a computer in its day.  It made IBM's of the same era look VERY bad but it didn't catch on at all. I love being around a computer and NOT using a computer just makes me very uptight in a bad way.  Having Jim around got me my computer fix AND gave me a card playing partner when we kicked other teams asses while playing hearts or spades. On top of the fact Miller brewing company had donated case after case of O'Douls non(or very low) alcoholic beer and Jim had cases of O'Douls stacked around his tent. We drank a bunch of O'Douls and played many games of cards for hours on end.  Most of my memories from that time concerning Jim are good ones, however, we had one hell of an argument one time in that 7 month time span so bad that I just had to walk away from him to keep from clocking him upside the head!  I can say without shame that I Love Jim Matthews like family and to think we might have come to blows is just hard for me to think about.  Jim and I could often disagree but we almost never became disagreeable with each other.  We respected each other greatly and still do. The only reason I can really think we might have really fought was the daily unknown we both faced during that time. Words do not adequately express the gratitude and thanks I have for Jim during this time in my life.  No finer friend or person exist to my knowledge.

I deployed two other times during my Air Force career. Once to Saudi Arabia and once to Turkey.  Those other deployments were different than the Gulf War.  The other two deployments had a great deal of advance notice that deploying to the Gulf War didn't have.  That small fact made it much easier to deal with being away from home.  When I deployed to the Gulf War, I was on leave.  My 1st wife and I were on the 9th hole of Lakewood Golf Course in Sumter SC (the golf course is now gone, it is now a subdivision) when my Dad came driving down the fairway on a golf cart yelling "They need you on base!"...we never did finish that game of golf. I can't remember the score of that golf game but I can say my 1st wife was a better golfer than I ever was so I was most likely losing!

In less than 48 hours I was standing on the flightline of Al Dhafra Air Base, the U.A.E, at 12:00 noon on 12 or 13 August 1990 and it was the HOT of the day because it wasn't just heat..it was HOT. The first person I saw that I knew as a welding/machine shop guy named Frank, who put a gallon water jug in my hand and said "Drink it fast, it gets warm quickly"..... We formed up in a hanger and had a briefing about the situation and the rules we needed to know. The one rule I remember most was this: "Do NOT step off the asphalt of the taxiway/aircraft parking area because if you do, you will get SHOT!" and they pointed out the fox holes all around the fence of that base, 15 to 20 feet apart with a man with a weapon in their hands in the foxhole. Those guys didn't speak a word of English and, darn it, I didn't speak one word of arabic at the time! Those guys had to be mighty tough to sit for hours in those foxholes in the oppressive heat!

I'm thankful to say it got better from there...and NO, I never did step off the asphalt to see if they would shoot first and ask questions later.

I'm thankful I can sit in my house, 22 years later and remember the times that weren't perfect in my life or situation.

I'm thankful to my 1st wife for staying with me during that time. I saw a great many marriages suffer during the Gulf War.  The reasons we split had nothing to do with being deployed at any point in time. She supported my military career, even when it wasn't easy to do so.  I wish her and her husband a great deal of happiness.

I'm thankful to my son, Christopher, and his wife, Lindsey and our two granddaughters, Alisen and Catherine.  It isn't a bad thing being a grandparent and those lovely girls have a whole BUNCH of grandparents. I believe they are VERY lucky. I didn't know either of my grandfather's. One died before I was born and the other didn't live close but we could have talked on the phone but I don't remember it if it did happen.

I'm thankful to God for calling me back to the fold and giving me a good church family at Kathwood Baptist Church.

I'm thankful for my wife, Randi. She is a wellspring of strength and grace. Always a lady and always pleasant
and funny, in a quiet sort of way.  She showed me that you don't have to yell at the top of your lungs to change the world.  She does it daily in her own quiet way.

I can't be thankful for Randi without being also thankful for her daughters, Kathryn and Debbie. They are wonderful young women who I am very proud are in my family. I could be no more proud if they were my own daughters.  It has been a wonderful experience I wouldn't trade for the world. My life has been enriched by them!

I would be remiss to not be thankful for my family in Knoxville TN. My mom and dad have lived a good long life and I'm lucky to have them around still.  My Brother and his wife and family are also in my thoughts. Rick and I fought like brothers...(well, DUH!)  but turned into much better adults.  It is good to hear his voice on the other end of the phone!  It was good to know my family in Knoxville celebrated my most recent birthday with a pizza party in my honor even though I wasn't there. Thanks Guys! LOVE YOU!

I'm sure there dozens of other things to be thankful for but they slip my old mind right at the moment.

However, one last thing:
I'm thankful for the solders, sailors, airmen, marines and coast guard troops who are away from home protecting the values of this great nation during this holiday.

J.