The Daily ACK 12/2/2011 More Thoughts on Alaska

Alaska, The Great Land. The largest state in the USA.
You don't realize how large Alaska is until  you live there.  I lived in "The Great Land" from 12 Dec 1984 until 12 July 1987. There is an old joke about a Texan going to Alaskan bar. He ask "Since Alaska is the largest state in the union now, how do I become a TRUE Alaskan". The Bartender says "Well, it will take 3 things to become a TRUE Alaskan. 1) Drink a pint of Yukon Jack whiskey, 2) Make love to an Eskimo girl and 3) Kill a Polar Bear with your bare hands.  The Texan picks up the pint of Yukon Jack whiskey and drinks it down and then runs out of the bar to look for the other two things he needs to become an Alaskan.  About an hour later, the Texan walks back in to the bar with scratches all over him and says "Now where is that Eskimo girl I have to kill....."....

The first time I heard Johnny Horton's North To Alaska was in Fairbanks. The group of people I ran around with in Alaska had a 45 RPM vinyl record of "North To Alaska" and we passed it around to new people who came to Eielson AFB. 

It is said as a joke that the mosquito is the Alaskan State bird...(The state bird is really the Willow Ptarmigan). The more snow there is during the winter, the more mosquito's there will be during the summer. you will swear the mosquito's could almost carry you away.  As far as the real state bird, the Willow Ptarmigan, they are ground nesting birds and they can fly but they don't fly very often. Don't get caught hunting a Willow Ptarmigan in Alaska, its against the law.

As I have said before, I don't hunt or fish, however, I did go fishing twice in two and a half years in Alaska. A good eating fish in Alaska was an Arctic grayling. As long as you dressed them and put them right on the fire after catching them, grayling were good eating. You can't freeze an Arctic grayling. They turn to mush if you freeze them. As far as ocean fish, Pacific halibut was the finest eating fish I ever ate.  Halibut have one large backbone that dissects 4 large pieces of meat. Other than their backbone, Halibut are almost boneless.

My memories are of a great bunch of friends that have been scattered by military service.  I remember meeting a guy named Frank who hung around the pizza restaurant I used to frequent in North Pole AK.  Seems Frank had two granddaughters in Catholic School in Fairbanks. His granddaughters ask him "How do they (the church) appoint a new Pope." Frank told those girls that the new Pope was the previous Pope's oldest son. It seems his granddaughters went to school and told the teacher (a nun) what their grandfather had told them.  Frank's daughter got called to the school because of what her dad had told her daughters and as I remember Frank telling us that his daughter "wasn't very happy" with him.

I spoke to Christopher and Lindsey yesterday and I ask them, "What is the temperature right now?" They told me is was 3 degrees above zero Fahrenheit. I said "Oh, you are having a heat wave!" They told me the locals thought so but they were COLD! Oh well...the first winter in Alaska is the worst winter.

I'm all ACKed out!
J.