Today my status on Facebook says:
"Ok folks, I've went and done it this time. I've offered to play guitar at my favorite bistro, Garden Bistro next Tuesday (12/24/13).. The staff there has always been good to me and I decided to give back to them for the kindness they have shown me in the recent past. PRAY for me!"
I admit, I've played guitar since age 11. I, at one point, wrote music and sang in Washington Pike Baptist Church with a guy named Mark (who's last name escapes me at the moment). It isn't like I haven't played in public in front of *gasp* PEOPLE...however, I'm not 17 anymore. I'm 51 and fear is a force in my life. Having IBS will make you fear the strangest things.
In one way, in my mind, I wanted to stand outside the crowd but in another way, I had this whole Walter Mitty thing going on in my head. There just wasn't tons of good examples of setting out on your own and doing your own thing in my life as a kid. There was fear to spare. Fear of being laughed at or fear of falling on my face in front of God and everyone and the shame those things will make you feel when you haven't developed the sense of self or self worth of your own abilities at a young age. There are times you have to break a hell of a lot of eggs to make a perfect boiled egg and when you are young you just have no feeling for how many time you have to fail to REALLY get it right.
While I sit here and write this, my mind is going about 4 or 5 different directions. I guess the biggest thing in my mind is this: How do I break out of my comfort zone and HAVE FUN. I'm a bit too serious and life should be serious...SERIOUSLY FUN and I still haven't figured out how to pull that off on a daily basis. I seem to thrive talking one on one to a person but I'm a stiff old white guy when I'm in a group of people! Haven't I played that roll long enough? YES! 100% YES. Kind of reminds me of The Geezinslaws Help, I'm white and I can't get down . and I can't jump either.....Sad, isn't it.....
My friend Robert Oswalt (no relation to Lee Harvey at all....) seems to be the FUN in being SERIOUSLY FUN. I see Robert once or twice a week at church and no matter what, that guy always has a smile and if he looks a bit goofy, that is OK too....nothing seems to ruffle his feathers much at all. We swap a laugh or two on Facebook and when he post something 99 times out of 100 it is a zinger of a laugh. To do Robert justice, he can be serious in a serious way if the situation needs that, however, he slips back to his fun self with great ease and is more comfortable in his own skin than anyone I know. I am grateful to have him as my friend and brother in Christ.
To get to the point of all this writing. I suggested doing this out of my own mouth while talking to the owner of Garden Bistro. It was almost a joke with a push of seriousness behind it. I ask Mike, "When are you all open next week?" and the answer was Monday and Tuesday. I am working Monday but Tuesday I'm free and Randi is working half a day. The staff at the Bistro know me by name and always treat me right. When I order my food, they always know how I like it even if I don't order it the correct way...(Thanks Becky! ). I ask all the staff..."Where do you go to get away from work? I come here for lunch and you guys WORK here.." at that point I decided I could give some back, beyond a tip or a Christmas card. I wanted to give those fine people something special....ergo...I wanted to play for them. They are my friends and I admire the work Mike and the staff do on a daily basis. They are food artist and sell a quality product in a quick manner with a friendly staff.
How will it all turn out? Only the good Lord knows but I seriously want to have a great deal of fun, mistakes, warts and all.
J.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Saturday, November 30, 2013
More Thankful.
To understand where this blog post is going you first must understand this:
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
I'm thankful for my Father's hard living ways. It taught me that drinking alcohol in excess is a dead end street, nothing good will ever come from it.
I'm thankful I did deploy to the Gulf War. It taught me that I'm stronger than I realized and I have a deep wellspring of effort to draw on when needed. It was a turning point or a touchstone in my life. It let me know that I can hack it, no matter what "IT" may be.
I'm thankful that my mom is a tough parent. It taught me that sometimes in the face of overwhelming odds, you have to stand up for what you believe in, not because its easy but because its the right thing to do.
I'm thankful for my divorce. It taught me the real amount of effort it takes to keep a family moving. It also made me realize that I LOVE cooking but I'm still not good a the clean up part.
I'm thankful for the times I had NOTHING. It taught me how to live within my means and use my head to think outside the box. You might not like those green beans or that MRE (meals ready to eat) you're eating BUT you ARE eating, which is WAY better than NOT eating.
I'm thankful for the pain or hurt I've had in my life. It taught me to truly appreciate when things are really good in my life. If we all had gold, gold would be worth nothing.
I'm thankful I watched my first Father-in-law, R.B. Thompson, take his last breath. It taught me about the circle of life. It also was the door that opened a great friendship with my first Mother-in-law, Catherine Thompson. (it wasn't always so, I'm ashamed to say) I love and miss that great woman daily. The world is a bit less bright without her around. Catherine, I dearly miss the homemade butterscotch pies you used to make for me when we came home on leave. No other pie even comes close to yours.
I'm thankful for Randi. Together, we make one hell of a team. Sometimes you're beside me, holding my hand as we walk through life. Sometimes, you are behind me because I need a good swift kick in the ass and Sometimes you are in front of me because I need someone to pull me toward the good things this life has to offer and be away from my comfort zone (which is really very tiny) to show me the world isn't all bad. Thank you more than words can express.
I'm thankful for Dylan. I was not a dog person before Dylan came into my life. His smartness and his funny ways helped me love an object that could give me nothing in return but his loyalty. I'm a better person because of that little dog.
I'm thankful for Sophie. Having raised Dylan and getting it right 95% of the time with him gave me the vision that we could help Sophie. I thought Dylan was a ham before Sophie showed up. He is downright serious and she is WAY goofy in her own sort of way. I knew the moment we saw that 2 year old dog in Oct of 2008 that she was coming home with us and it didn't matter what it took to help her. It was a one way love affair at first. It was love at first sight for me but Sophie wasn't to sure about it. Come to think of it, she wasn't too sure about ANYTHING when we first got her. The second time she got down in her back, I cried big tears over that dog, but the trip with Sophie has been worth it. I would do it again in a second!
It hasn't always been easy but I've learned along the way. Right or wrong, good or bad, I'm thankful to the Lord for all that has and will happen to me.
J.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
I'm thankful for my Father's hard living ways. It taught me that drinking alcohol in excess is a dead end street, nothing good will ever come from it.
I'm thankful I did deploy to the Gulf War. It taught me that I'm stronger than I realized and I have a deep wellspring of effort to draw on when needed. It was a turning point or a touchstone in my life. It let me know that I can hack it, no matter what "IT" may be.
I'm thankful that my mom is a tough parent. It taught me that sometimes in the face of overwhelming odds, you have to stand up for what you believe in, not because its easy but because its the right thing to do.
I'm thankful for my divorce. It taught me the real amount of effort it takes to keep a family moving. It also made me realize that I LOVE cooking but I'm still not good a the clean up part.
I'm thankful for the times I had NOTHING. It taught me how to live within my means and use my head to think outside the box. You might not like those green beans or that MRE (meals ready to eat) you're eating BUT you ARE eating, which is WAY better than NOT eating.
I'm thankful for the pain or hurt I've had in my life. It taught me to truly appreciate when things are really good in my life. If we all had gold, gold would be worth nothing.
I'm thankful I watched my first Father-in-law, R.B. Thompson, take his last breath. It taught me about the circle of life. It also was the door that opened a great friendship with my first Mother-in-law, Catherine Thompson. (it wasn't always so, I'm ashamed to say) I love and miss that great woman daily. The world is a bit less bright without her around. Catherine, I dearly miss the homemade butterscotch pies you used to make for me when we came home on leave. No other pie even comes close to yours.
I'm thankful for Randi. Together, we make one hell of a team. Sometimes you're beside me, holding my hand as we walk through life. Sometimes, you are behind me because I need a good swift kick in the ass and Sometimes you are in front of me because I need someone to pull me toward the good things this life has to offer and be away from my comfort zone (which is really very tiny) to show me the world isn't all bad. Thank you more than words can express.
I'm thankful for Dylan. I was not a dog person before Dylan came into my life. His smartness and his funny ways helped me love an object that could give me nothing in return but his loyalty. I'm a better person because of that little dog.
I'm thankful for Sophie. Having raised Dylan and getting it right 95% of the time with him gave me the vision that we could help Sophie. I thought Dylan was a ham before Sophie showed up. He is downright serious and she is WAY goofy in her own sort of way. I knew the moment we saw that 2 year old dog in Oct of 2008 that she was coming home with us and it didn't matter what it took to help her. It was a one way love affair at first. It was love at first sight for me but Sophie wasn't to sure about it. Come to think of it, she wasn't too sure about ANYTHING when we first got her. The second time she got down in her back, I cried big tears over that dog, but the trip with Sophie has been worth it. I would do it again in a second!
It hasn't always been easy but I've learned along the way. Right or wrong, good or bad, I'm thankful to the Lord for all that has and will happen to me.
J.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thankful
Today, I'm am very thankful. I have every right to feel thankful today (even if the thermostat was in the away mode and the house got down to 65 degrees f before the heat came on, this being the coldest day in a while at 22 degrees f!) I'm home and have my wonderful wife, Randi, beside me sleeping.
It hasn't always been this way. Being in the U.S. Air Force from 1984 - 2000, I've missed holidays, family birthdays, anniversaries and anything that happened back in the "land of the big BX". I've sat in a tent, halfway around the world and cried tears that no one else saw or knew about at the time. In a time before skype and hangout, I sent home a 15 minute VHS tape to my 1st wife and son. I still have that tape and I've only watched it once in 22 years since the end of the Gulf War. I remember recording that tape. They had a tent set up with 6 "booths" in it with a VHS camera on a tripod and a chair in front of the camera. The booths were not a proper recording booth but a tent that had been sectioned into partitions and a hallway down the middle of the tent. I can't remember if the booths had a sheet or a door facing the hallway. (It could have been both as the tent city changed and grew/improved the whole 7 months and 5 days I called that patch of desert home).
The reason I won't watch that VHS Tape is I am VERY uptight in that recording in an uncomfortable sort of way. I would guess in the comfort of your own home you just can't believe that you were once so "uptight". I have described myself in that tape as being "wound up tight as a banjo string".... I don't remember being that wound up but the only reason I can think of for being that tense is just the unknown we faced on a daily basis. We had no idea when we would be home. I had a set of orders that said I would be there a month but I fully well expected to be in the "AOR" (Area of responsibility) for a year.
I can't say that trip overseas was all that bad. We darn near lived in a country club, except for the fact we lived and ate in tents. They fed us very well and we had steak almost every friday. I can say I ate the best shrimp gumbo I've ever had during Desert Shield/Desert Storm. We had such a good site set up the Army used to come to our tent city for a weekend of R&R...However, it wasn't home. I have to give the 363FW from Shaw AFB and the Air Force mad props. They tried every way in the world to ensure we had other things to do OTHER than support our flying effort. We had a movie tent and an NCO club. We had a beer ration of one 12 oz. beer a night (The U.A. E. were a more moderate country that Saudi Arabia). Almost anytime after duty hours you could find a volleyball game going on in tent city. We had a book tent that you could swap one book for another book. We even had a weight lifting tent...and still yet, it wasn't home.
Speaking of the book tent. At the time I was into reading military fiction. Stephen Coonts was my favorite author (His most well known book is "Flight of the Intruder" it was made into a movie that did the book no justice!) I picked up a book one day in the book tent called "Team Yankee" by Harold Coyle. It was about an Army tank team fighting a ground war in the same geographic area we were defending! I read that book and it was a bit too much like art imitating life, my real life at the time! That book scared me pretty badly considering just where I was living at the time.....Oh well, I never said I was S-M-R-T smart.
I couldn't write about being away from home without mentioning my good friend and brother from another mother, Jim Matthews. Jim kept me sane during that tense time of 7 months and 5 days away from home. I believe he would say the same about me. We left Shaw AFB at different times and I didn't see him again until a few days after I had arrived in the U.A.E. Seeing Jim was like seeing home. We spent hours of time together before the war and us being together in this great unknown just seemed to be one of the puzzle pieces that fit for me. He had a computer in his tent just like the one I had at home, an Atari 1040st. An affordable Macintosh work alike that was one heck of a computer in its day. It made IBM's of the same era look VERY bad but it didn't catch on at all. I love being around a computer and NOT using a computer just makes me very uptight in a bad way. Having Jim around got me my computer fix AND gave me a card playing partner when we kicked other teams asses while playing hearts or spades. On top of the fact Miller brewing company had donated case after case of O'Douls non(or very low) alcoholic beer and Jim had cases of O'Douls stacked around his tent. We drank a bunch of O'Douls and played many games of cards for hours on end. Most of my memories from that time concerning Jim are good ones, however, we had one hell of an argument one time in that 7 month time span so bad that I just had to walk away from him to keep from clocking him upside the head! I can say without shame that I Love Jim Matthews like family and to think we might have come to blows is just hard for me to think about. Jim and I could often disagree but we almost never became disagreeable with each other. We respected each other greatly and still do. The only reason I can really think we might have really fought was the daily unknown we both faced during that time. Words do not adequately express the gratitude and thanks I have for Jim during this time in my life. No finer friend or person exist to my knowledge.
I deployed two other times during my Air Force career. Once to Saudi Arabia and once to Turkey. Those other deployments were different than the Gulf War. The other two deployments had a great deal of advance notice that deploying to the Gulf War didn't have. That small fact made it much easier to deal with being away from home. When I deployed to the Gulf War, I was on leave. My 1st wife and I were on the 9th hole of Lakewood Golf Course in Sumter SC (the golf course is now gone, it is now a subdivision) when my Dad came driving down the fairway on a golf cart yelling "They need you on base!"...we never did finish that game of golf. I can't remember the score of that golf game but I can say my 1st wife was a better golfer than I ever was so I was most likely losing!
In less than 48 hours I was standing on the flightline of Al Dhafra Air Base, the U.A.E, at 12:00 noon on 12 or 13 August 1990 and it was the HOT of the day because it wasn't just heat..it was HOT. The first person I saw that I knew as a welding/machine shop guy named Frank, who put a gallon water jug in my hand and said "Drink it fast, it gets warm quickly"..... We formed up in a hanger and had a briefing about the situation and the rules we needed to know. The one rule I remember most was this: "Do NOT step off the asphalt of the taxiway/aircraft parking area because if you do, you will get SHOT!" and they pointed out the fox holes all around the fence of that base, 15 to 20 feet apart with a man with a weapon in their hands in the foxhole. Those guys didn't speak a word of English and, darn it, I didn't speak one word of arabic at the time! Those guys had to be mighty tough to sit for hours in those foxholes in the oppressive heat!
I'm thankful to say it got better from there...and NO, I never did step off the asphalt to see if they would shoot first and ask questions later.
I'm thankful I can sit in my house, 22 years later and remember the times that weren't perfect in my life or situation.
I'm thankful to my 1st wife for staying with me during that time. I saw a great many marriages suffer during the Gulf War. The reasons we split had nothing to do with being deployed at any point in time. She supported my military career, even when it wasn't easy to do so. I wish her and her husband a great deal of happiness.
I'm thankful to my son, Christopher, and his wife, Lindsey and our two granddaughters, Alisen and Catherine. It isn't a bad thing being a grandparent and those lovely girls have a whole BUNCH of grandparents. I believe they are VERY lucky. I didn't know either of my grandfather's. One died before I was born and the other didn't live close but we could have talked on the phone but I don't remember it if it did happen.
I'm thankful to God for calling me back to the fold and giving me a good church family at Kathwood Baptist Church.
I'm thankful for my wife, Randi. She is a wellspring of strength and grace. Always a lady and always pleasant
and funny, in a quiet sort of way. She showed me that you don't have to yell at the top of your lungs to change the world. She does it daily in her own quiet way.
I can't be thankful for Randi without being also thankful for her daughters, Kathryn and Debbie. They are wonderful young women who I am very proud are in my family. I could be no more proud if they were my own daughters. It has been a wonderful experience I wouldn't trade for the world. My life has been enriched by them!
I would be remiss to not be thankful for my family in Knoxville TN. My mom and dad have lived a good long life and I'm lucky to have them around still. My Brother and his wife and family are also in my thoughts. Rick and I fought like brothers...(well, DUH!) but turned into much better adults. It is good to hear his voice on the other end of the phone! It was good to know my family in Knoxville celebrated my most recent birthday with a pizza party in my honor even though I wasn't there. Thanks Guys! LOVE YOU!
I'm sure there dozens of other things to be thankful for but they slip my old mind right at the moment.
However, one last thing:
I'm thankful for the solders, sailors, airmen, marines and coast guard troops who are away from home protecting the values of this great nation during this holiday.
J.
It hasn't always been this way. Being in the U.S. Air Force from 1984 - 2000, I've missed holidays, family birthdays, anniversaries and anything that happened back in the "land of the big BX". I've sat in a tent, halfway around the world and cried tears that no one else saw or knew about at the time. In a time before skype and hangout, I sent home a 15 minute VHS tape to my 1st wife and son. I still have that tape and I've only watched it once in 22 years since the end of the Gulf War. I remember recording that tape. They had a tent set up with 6 "booths" in it with a VHS camera on a tripod and a chair in front of the camera. The booths were not a proper recording booth but a tent that had been sectioned into partitions and a hallway down the middle of the tent. I can't remember if the booths had a sheet or a door facing the hallway. (It could have been both as the tent city changed and grew/improved the whole 7 months and 5 days I called that patch of desert home).
The reason I won't watch that VHS Tape is I am VERY uptight in that recording in an uncomfortable sort of way. I would guess in the comfort of your own home you just can't believe that you were once so "uptight". I have described myself in that tape as being "wound up tight as a banjo string".... I don't remember being that wound up but the only reason I can think of for being that tense is just the unknown we faced on a daily basis. We had no idea when we would be home. I had a set of orders that said I would be there a month but I fully well expected to be in the "AOR" (Area of responsibility) for a year.
I can't say that trip overseas was all that bad. We darn near lived in a country club, except for the fact we lived and ate in tents. They fed us very well and we had steak almost every friday. I can say I ate the best shrimp gumbo I've ever had during Desert Shield/Desert Storm. We had such a good site set up the Army used to come to our tent city for a weekend of R&R...However, it wasn't home. I have to give the 363FW from Shaw AFB and the Air Force mad props. They tried every way in the world to ensure we had other things to do OTHER than support our flying effort. We had a movie tent and an NCO club. We had a beer ration of one 12 oz. beer a night (The U.A. E. were a more moderate country that Saudi Arabia). Almost anytime after duty hours you could find a volleyball game going on in tent city. We had a book tent that you could swap one book for another book. We even had a weight lifting tent...and still yet, it wasn't home.
Speaking of the book tent. At the time I was into reading military fiction. Stephen Coonts was my favorite author (His most well known book is "Flight of the Intruder" it was made into a movie that did the book no justice!) I picked up a book one day in the book tent called "Team Yankee" by Harold Coyle. It was about an Army tank team fighting a ground war in the same geographic area we were defending! I read that book and it was a bit too much like art imitating life, my real life at the time! That book scared me pretty badly considering just where I was living at the time.....Oh well, I never said I was S-M-R-T smart.
I couldn't write about being away from home without mentioning my good friend and brother from another mother, Jim Matthews. Jim kept me sane during that tense time of 7 months and 5 days away from home. I believe he would say the same about me. We left Shaw AFB at different times and I didn't see him again until a few days after I had arrived in the U.A.E. Seeing Jim was like seeing home. We spent hours of time together before the war and us being together in this great unknown just seemed to be one of the puzzle pieces that fit for me. He had a computer in his tent just like the one I had at home, an Atari 1040st. An affordable Macintosh work alike that was one heck of a computer in its day. It made IBM's of the same era look VERY bad but it didn't catch on at all. I love being around a computer and NOT using a computer just makes me very uptight in a bad way. Having Jim around got me my computer fix AND gave me a card playing partner when we kicked other teams asses while playing hearts or spades. On top of the fact Miller brewing company had donated case after case of O'Douls non(or very low) alcoholic beer and Jim had cases of O'Douls stacked around his tent. We drank a bunch of O'Douls and played many games of cards for hours on end. Most of my memories from that time concerning Jim are good ones, however, we had one hell of an argument one time in that 7 month time span so bad that I just had to walk away from him to keep from clocking him upside the head! I can say without shame that I Love Jim Matthews like family and to think we might have come to blows is just hard for me to think about. Jim and I could often disagree but we almost never became disagreeable with each other. We respected each other greatly and still do. The only reason I can really think we might have really fought was the daily unknown we both faced during that time. Words do not adequately express the gratitude and thanks I have for Jim during this time in my life. No finer friend or person exist to my knowledge.
I deployed two other times during my Air Force career. Once to Saudi Arabia and once to Turkey. Those other deployments were different than the Gulf War. The other two deployments had a great deal of advance notice that deploying to the Gulf War didn't have. That small fact made it much easier to deal with being away from home. When I deployed to the Gulf War, I was on leave. My 1st wife and I were on the 9th hole of Lakewood Golf Course in Sumter SC (the golf course is now gone, it is now a subdivision) when my Dad came driving down the fairway on a golf cart yelling "They need you on base!"...we never did finish that game of golf. I can't remember the score of that golf game but I can say my 1st wife was a better golfer than I ever was so I was most likely losing!
In less than 48 hours I was standing on the flightline of Al Dhafra Air Base, the U.A.E, at 12:00 noon on 12 or 13 August 1990 and it was the HOT of the day because it wasn't just heat..it was HOT. The first person I saw that I knew as a welding/machine shop guy named Frank, who put a gallon water jug in my hand and said "Drink it fast, it gets warm quickly"..... We formed up in a hanger and had a briefing about the situation and the rules we needed to know. The one rule I remember most was this: "Do NOT step off the asphalt of the taxiway/aircraft parking area because if you do, you will get SHOT!" and they pointed out the fox holes all around the fence of that base, 15 to 20 feet apart with a man with a weapon in their hands in the foxhole. Those guys didn't speak a word of English and, darn it, I didn't speak one word of arabic at the time! Those guys had to be mighty tough to sit for hours in those foxholes in the oppressive heat!
I'm thankful to say it got better from there...and NO, I never did step off the asphalt to see if they would shoot first and ask questions later.
I'm thankful I can sit in my house, 22 years later and remember the times that weren't perfect in my life or situation.
I'm thankful to my 1st wife for staying with me during that time. I saw a great many marriages suffer during the Gulf War. The reasons we split had nothing to do with being deployed at any point in time. She supported my military career, even when it wasn't easy to do so. I wish her and her husband a great deal of happiness.
I'm thankful to my son, Christopher, and his wife, Lindsey and our two granddaughters, Alisen and Catherine. It isn't a bad thing being a grandparent and those lovely girls have a whole BUNCH of grandparents. I believe they are VERY lucky. I didn't know either of my grandfather's. One died before I was born and the other didn't live close but we could have talked on the phone but I don't remember it if it did happen.
I'm thankful to God for calling me back to the fold and giving me a good church family at Kathwood Baptist Church.
I'm thankful for my wife, Randi. She is a wellspring of strength and grace. Always a lady and always pleasant
and funny, in a quiet sort of way. She showed me that you don't have to yell at the top of your lungs to change the world. She does it daily in her own quiet way.
I can't be thankful for Randi without being also thankful for her daughters, Kathryn and Debbie. They are wonderful young women who I am very proud are in my family. I could be no more proud if they were my own daughters. It has been a wonderful experience I wouldn't trade for the world. My life has been enriched by them!
I would be remiss to not be thankful for my family in Knoxville TN. My mom and dad have lived a good long life and I'm lucky to have them around still. My Brother and his wife and family are also in my thoughts. Rick and I fought like brothers...(well, DUH!) but turned into much better adults. It is good to hear his voice on the other end of the phone! It was good to know my family in Knoxville celebrated my most recent birthday with a pizza party in my honor even though I wasn't there. Thanks Guys! LOVE YOU!
I'm sure there dozens of other things to be thankful for but they slip my old mind right at the moment.
However, one last thing:
I'm thankful for the solders, sailors, airmen, marines and coast guard troops who are away from home protecting the values of this great nation during this holiday.
J.
Friday, November 22, 2013
It only took 51 years...
Today is my 51st birthday. For me to type that sentence is a big milestone. Last year that wouldn't and couldn't happen. While posting a status on Facebook a few days ago about fact people might not know about me:
"5 things people might not know about me.
1. I'm not a native Tennessean. I was born in Missouri when my dad was in the U.S. Air Force. Both sides of my family are from East Tennessee.
2. I was born premature by 3 months. My birth weight was 2 lbs, 9 oz. (yes, you read that right). I lost weight back to 1 lbs, 14 oz. before I started to gain weight
3. I've played guitar (on and off) since age 11.
4. I purchased my first motorcycle at age 42 (a 1982 Honda CM250C)
5. I did not retire from the Air Force. I separated from the military after 15 years, 9 months. (24 May 1984 - 1 Feb 2000)"
1. I'm not a native Tennessean. I was born in Missouri when my dad was in the U.S. Air Force. Both sides of my family are from East Tennessee.
2. I was born premature by 3 months. My birth weight was 2 lbs, 9 oz. (yes, you read that right). I lost weight back to 1 lbs, 14 oz. before I started to gain weight
3. I've played guitar (on and off) since age 11.
4. I purchased my first motorcycle at age 42 (a 1982 Honda CM250C)
5. I did not retire from the Air Force. I separated from the military after 15 years, 9 months. (24 May 1984 - 1 Feb 2000)"
I could have also added a 6th one. "6. JFK was shot on my first birthday"
On the news today when they ask "Where were you when JFK was shot?" my answer is "in diapers and in a crib most likely"...
When I have told some people JFK was shot on my first birthday, they always answer "Oh, your birthday is 25 Nov?" ..er..no...he was shot on my 1st birthday not buried on my 1st birthday.
It is funny how things that happened when you were a kid will stick with you in ways that you carry into adulthood. 44 years ago today, my first grade class at Alice Bell School sang Happy Birthday to me. I wanted to crawl under a rock. It made me most uncomfortable. That discomfort stuck with me for a long darn time. Last year, at age 50 I decided this silly stuff needed to stop. I can't continue to carry the past around no matter what the reason. I'll most likely NEVER post this information in public anyplace else because it is yet, just another day in a string of days that have made up my life up to this point. I still feel pretty private about my birthday. If I get birthday wishes going forward that is ok and If I don't...that is ok too.
Randi ask me what I wanted to do for my birthday and my answer "I really don't care as long as we are doing it together." I like her better than anyone else walking the face of the earth and our 3 adult children, Kathryn; Debbie and Christopher, and their families are close behind. Our Family is a big bunch of "Your's, Mine, and Ours" and I like it a great deal.
Turning 50 really made me think about the things I was holding on to from my past and it has made me reevaluate who I am and WHY I am the way I am. I'll be the first to admit, I'm a strange one...*twitch*
In 2004 Randi and I took a trip to Dallas to see Kathryn and Debbie. We saw the book depository and the plaza. It was a solemn moment. Quiet and very reverent. I was surprised by the number of conspiracy theorist hanging around the plaza. One man tried to give me a paper about JFK's assassination and I told him "You won't change my mind and I sure won't change yours. Please keep your paper"
It has been a long strange trip and it keeps getting better every day!
J.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Temptation
If you happen to read this blog on a regular basis, you will know that Randi and I recently joined Kathwood Baptist Church. It has been a positive life enriching experience for us. As I have related that my challenges for the most part, are ones of suddenly letting "colorful language" suddenly pop out of my mouth. WHOOPS! It isn't the end of the world.
I have other temptations that I decided to take out of my life 100%. It didn't bother me one bit to remove things from my life that were one step away from temptation. I really felt very good about being proactive about the matter and removing items from my life that might make me stray away from God.
In the past I didn't take temptation very seriously. I thought that God would steer me away from temptation by some miracle of divine providence. It didn't work very well and I wondered why. I was setting myself up to fail. It wouldn't be God that would have failed me but it was me failing myself and my Christian walk.
Life isn't easy and Christian life really isn't easy. The Devil will be waiting to put a block in your way that puts you in harm's way. We have a freedom of mind and the choices we make are OUR fault. It takes a keen amount of mental attention to keep oneself walking the straight and narrow.
Not only should we pray to God to "lead us not into temptation" but we should also use our mind to steer us clear of things that tempt us. Who knows you the best in the world? You Do! You knows what tempts you and you know how to turn your feet to get away from what tempts you.
My Christian walk has sometimes been an emotional one. I'm a Southern emotional mess. I sometimes act out of the frustration of my emotions. It isn't a good thing and it isn't good for my Christian life. Living a Christian life is one driven by faith. Hebrews 11:1 says Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. or as the King James Version says " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
It is good to be happy about being a Christian but when that happiness starts to wane, are we still as close to God as we always have been? The answer is a resounding YES. Our faith is the anchor of our walk with God, not our emotions. I am so thankful for that fact, as my emotions are a mess on a daily basis.
I can also say that living a Christian life is SO much easier with Randi around. She was raised in a very church going home. (She once described her young family life as being like Ozzie and Harriet or Ward and June Cleaver) Her guidance and natural easy going manner has made decisions we have made concerning church so much easier. I'm happy for her experience and knowledge to explore as we go forward with our Christian walk.
I can say I'm very happy with our return to church. Since we returned to church, Randi's youngest daughter, Debbie, got baptized in October and a few weeks ago my son, Christopher told me he and his family are also going to church on a regular basis! It has been a good year for getting back to God.
Our great thanks to God for all that good news!
J.
I have other temptations that I decided to take out of my life 100%. It didn't bother me one bit to remove things from my life that were one step away from temptation. I really felt very good about being proactive about the matter and removing items from my life that might make me stray away from God.
In the past I didn't take temptation very seriously. I thought that God would steer me away from temptation by some miracle of divine providence. It didn't work very well and I wondered why. I was setting myself up to fail. It wouldn't be God that would have failed me but it was me failing myself and my Christian walk.
Life isn't easy and Christian life really isn't easy. The Devil will be waiting to put a block in your way that puts you in harm's way. We have a freedom of mind and the choices we make are OUR fault. It takes a keen amount of mental attention to keep oneself walking the straight and narrow.
Not only should we pray to God to "lead us not into temptation" but we should also use our mind to steer us clear of things that tempt us. Who knows you the best in the world? You Do! You knows what tempts you and you know how to turn your feet to get away from what tempts you.
My Christian walk has sometimes been an emotional one. I'm a Southern emotional mess. I sometimes act out of the frustration of my emotions. It isn't a good thing and it isn't good for my Christian life. Living a Christian life is one driven by faith. Hebrews 11:1 says Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses]. or as the King James Version says " Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
It is good to be happy about being a Christian but when that happiness starts to wane, are we still as close to God as we always have been? The answer is a resounding YES. Our faith is the anchor of our walk with God, not our emotions. I am so thankful for that fact, as my emotions are a mess on a daily basis.
I can also say that living a Christian life is SO much easier with Randi around. She was raised in a very church going home. (She once described her young family life as being like Ozzie and Harriet or Ward and June Cleaver) Her guidance and natural easy going manner has made decisions we have made concerning church so much easier. I'm happy for her experience and knowledge to explore as we go forward with our Christian walk.
I can say I'm very happy with our return to church. Since we returned to church, Randi's youngest daughter, Debbie, got baptized in October and a few weeks ago my son, Christopher told me he and his family are also going to church on a regular basis! It has been a good year for getting back to God.
Our great thanks to God for all that good news!
J.
Friday, October 11, 2013
A problem I have
I have a problem of sorts. It isn't a big problem but it is a problem, none the less.
In my past, I've worked in places or in jobs that it is normal for most people involved to cuss or swear.
The military and Information Technology are both jobs that during a normal day, SOMEONE is going to use "colorful language". It could be jubilation that an engine went back in a piece of equipment easily or because the program you just spent the last month writing, compiled with no errors. It just as easily could be having your big toe smashed when someone dropped a car battery on it by accident or someone just accidentally erased the WHOLE configuration on the Core Switch on your computer network and now the WHOLE flipping network is down and the phones (notice the "s") around you are now ringing off the hook because users can no longer work because their network connection just died by no fault of their own.
Trust me on this, all the above things will makes words suddenly come out of your mouth that would make a sailor blush. If you walk into a mechanic shop or an I.T. department and no one is swearing any at all. something is VERY wrong. Things have gotten SO bad and the problems SO big that all of their concentration is on fixing the problem and they couldn't say anything if they tried at that moment.... and if you tried to talk to them at that moment, you would only get "er.....um....eh....they can help you in the next room, I am REALLY busy" and back to work they would go and weeks later they would have no idea you had even been there at that time.
At this point, I have given my life back to God and his work. I have joined a wonderful church and I've really been amazed at The Lord's hand in my life. I've been given a gift of being able to see being a Christian from older eyes and things have been going pretty well.....it hasn't been perfect but life has been better and I'm very happy about it. I'm not beating myself up over every little sin and I have been far more reflective in my thoughts about my actions BUT my "lose lips" will sink this ship of mine if I don't get a handle on my "colorful language".
The week after we joined the church, I was driving to work one morning when someone cut me off in traffic. For me to say that there was a "hair's worth" of space between our cars would be generous of me. The first thing out of my mouth "JESUS CHRIST"...and I NEVER say or said that even when I wasn't going to church or trying to live a committed life. I might have backslid for a long time but I never joked about or made lite of God. God is "bigger" than me and at the very least deserved/deserves my respect.
I have often said "I don't care how religious you are, if you stub your toe walking through the house at 2:00am and you DON'T say "DAMN" there is something wrong with you".....There are situations where saying "verily verily" just doesn't cut it, if you know what I mean. Even the late Grady Nut (a great Baptist comedian who died way too soon) thought Christians should have some ventilation language. He proposed using the words "blotchy" and "boogly" as in "Get your blotchy feet off my boogly bed!"....
James 3:2-10 says: "For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. ... "
also James 1:26 says: "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."
Well....that was very direct and to the point. I'm very thankful I have the faith of a grain of mustard seed cuz I'm going to need it.
I've always heard that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
I have a problem but the good Lord knows I need help. It will all work out.
J.
In my past, I've worked in places or in jobs that it is normal for most people involved to cuss or swear.
The military and Information Technology are both jobs that during a normal day, SOMEONE is going to use "colorful language". It could be jubilation that an engine went back in a piece of equipment easily or because the program you just spent the last month writing, compiled with no errors. It just as easily could be having your big toe smashed when someone dropped a car battery on it by accident or someone just accidentally erased the WHOLE configuration on the Core Switch on your computer network and now the WHOLE flipping network is down and the phones (notice the "s") around you are now ringing off the hook because users can no longer work because their network connection just died by no fault of their own.
Trust me on this, all the above things will makes words suddenly come out of your mouth that would make a sailor blush. If you walk into a mechanic shop or an I.T. department and no one is swearing any at all. something is VERY wrong. Things have gotten SO bad and the problems SO big that all of their concentration is on fixing the problem and they couldn't say anything if they tried at that moment.... and if you tried to talk to them at that moment, you would only get "er.....um....eh....they can help you in the next room, I am REALLY busy" and back to work they would go and weeks later they would have no idea you had even been there at that time.
At this point, I have given my life back to God and his work. I have joined a wonderful church and I've really been amazed at The Lord's hand in my life. I've been given a gift of being able to see being a Christian from older eyes and things have been going pretty well.....it hasn't been perfect but life has been better and I'm very happy about it. I'm not beating myself up over every little sin and I have been far more reflective in my thoughts about my actions BUT my "lose lips" will sink this ship of mine if I don't get a handle on my "colorful language".
The week after we joined the church, I was driving to work one morning when someone cut me off in traffic. For me to say that there was a "hair's worth" of space between our cars would be generous of me. The first thing out of my mouth "JESUS CHRIST"...and I NEVER say or said that even when I wasn't going to church or trying to live a committed life. I might have backslid for a long time but I never joked about or made lite of God. God is "bigger" than me and at the very least deserved/deserves my respect.
I have often said "I don't care how religious you are, if you stub your toe walking through the house at 2:00am and you DON'T say "DAMN" there is something wrong with you".....There are situations where saying "verily verily" just doesn't cut it, if you know what I mean. Even the late Grady Nut (a great Baptist comedian who died way too soon) thought Christians should have some ventilation language. He proposed using the words "blotchy" and "boogly" as in "Get your blotchy feet off my boogly bed!"....
James 3:2-10 says: "For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. ... "
also James 1:26 says: "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."
Well....that was very direct and to the point. I'm very thankful I have the faith of a grain of mustard seed cuz I'm going to need it.
I've always heard that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
I have a problem but the good Lord knows I need help. It will all work out.
J.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
This is a first for me
I'm not young by any streach, however, my wife would tell you I'm still a spring chicken....I've always been a news hound and always had one ear tilted toward politics. While I was in the military, I was VERY interested in the news and politics because the actions of those in Washington D.C. could very well effect my life in the short term. When I left for the Gulf War, one day I was on the golf course and in less than 48 hours, I was walking away from a C-5 Aircraft on the ramp at an air base in the U.A.E.
It would seem from everything I've seen about the government shutdown, 72% of the people DON'T WANT the government shutdown over the Affordable Care Act. The business of the government is being held up by sour grapes from the House and its republican majority. I really don't see how they can keep saying that the President won't negoiate about the government shutdown due to a LAW that has already been passed and signed by the President and upheld by the Suprime Court. This is not a House Bill we are talking about this an ALREADY PASSED LAW....
The House in its own dysfunctional way has voted around 40 times for bills that DEFUND the Affordable Care Act and those bills are NEVER taken up by the Senate and would be vetoed by the President if it ever did make it out of the House chambers. I would wonder just what The House could have accomplished if they had concentrated on what was good for the " life liberty and the persuit of happiness " of the people of this country
This country is a Democracy. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. This is the way democracy SHOULD work.
I have never ever before this seen one house of congress hold out against a LAW before they allow the government to be funded.
Romans 13 says a great deal about leadership:
"13 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. 4 For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. 5 Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. 7 Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor."
You might not like who is in charge in the country BUT God is in charge and he has allowed them to be in charge.
You might not agree with me and I encourage you to disagree with me if you feel so lead to do so.
There is a great deal of MIS-Information in this information age. Don't just take anyone's word about the problems in this world. Open your mind and research for yourself.
The country became great because of our differences but is now being torn apart because of our differences.
It is truly a sad day and we need to pray for the leadership in this country.
J.
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