A problem I have

I have a problem of sorts. It isn't a big problem but it is a problem, none the less.

In my past, I've worked in places or in jobs that it is normal for most people involved to cuss or swear.
The military and Information Technology are both jobs that during a normal day, SOMEONE is going to use  "colorful language".  It could be jubilation that an engine went back in a piece of equipment easily or because the program you just spent the last month writing, compiled with no errors.   It just as easily could be having your big toe smashed when someone dropped a car battery on it by accident or someone just accidentally erased the WHOLE configuration on the Core Switch on your computer network and now the WHOLE flipping network is down and the phones (notice the "s") around you are now ringing off the hook because users can no longer work because their network connection just died by no fault of their own.

Trust me on this, all the above things will makes words suddenly come out of your mouth  that would make a sailor blush.  If you walk into a mechanic shop or an I.T. department and no one is swearing any at all. something is VERY wrong. Things have gotten SO bad and the problems SO big that all of their concentration is on fixing the problem and they couldn't say anything if they tried at that moment.... and if you tried to talk to them at that moment, you would only get "er.....um....eh....they can help you in the next room, I am REALLY busy" and back to work they would go and weeks later they would have no idea you had even been there at that time.

At this point, I have given my life back to God and his work. I have joined a wonderful church and I've really been amazed at The Lord's hand in my life.  I've been given a gift of being able to see being a Christian from older eyes and things have been going pretty well.....it hasn't been perfect but life has been better and I'm very happy about it. I'm not beating myself up over every little sin and I have been far more reflective in my thoughts about my actions BUT my "lose lips" will sink this ship of mine if I don't get a handle on my "colorful language".

The week after we joined the church, I was driving to work one morning when someone cut me off in traffic. For me to say that there was a "hair's worth" of space between our cars would be generous of me. The first thing out of my mouth "JESUS CHRIST"...and I NEVER say or said that even when I wasn't going to church or trying to live a committed life.  I might have backslid for a long time but I never joked about or made lite of God.  God is "bigger" than me and at the very least deserved/deserves my respect.

I have often said "I don't care how religious you are, if you stub your toe walking through the house at 2:00am and you DON'T say "DAMN" there is something wrong with you".....There are situations where saying "verily verily" just doesn't cut it, if you know what I mean. Even the late Grady Nut (a great Baptist comedian who died way too soon) thought Christians should have some ventilation language. He proposed using the words "blotchy" and "boogly"  as in  "Get your blotchy feet off my boogly bed!"....

James 3:2-10 says: "For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. ... "

 also James 1:26 says: "If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless."

Well....that was very direct and to the point.  I'm very thankful I have the faith of a grain of mustard seed cuz I'm going to need it.

I've always heard that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

I have a problem but the good Lord knows I need help.  It will all work out.

J.

This is a first for me

I'm not young by any streach, however, my wife would tell you I'm still a spring chicken....I've always been a news hound and always had one ear tilted toward politics. While I was in the military, I was VERY interested in the news and politics because the actions of those in Washington D.C. could very well effect my life in the short term.  When I left for the Gulf War, one day I was on the golf course and in less than 48 hours, I was walking away from a C-5 Aircraft on the ramp at an air base in the U.A.E. 

It would seem from everything I've seen about the government shutdown, 72% of the people DON'T WANT the government shutdown over the Affordable Care Act.  The business of the government is being held up by sour grapes from the House and its republican majority.  I really don't see how they can keep saying that the President won't negoiate about the government shutdown due to a LAW that has already been passed and signed by the President and upheld by the Suprime Court.    This is not a House Bill we are talking about this an ALREADY PASSED LAW....  

The House in its own dysfunctional way has voted around 40 times for bills that DEFUND the Affordable Care Act and those bills are NEVER taken up by the Senate and would be vetoed by the President if it ever did make it out of the House chambers. I would wonder just what The House could have accomplished if they had concentrated on what was good for the " life liberty and the persuit of happiness " of the people of this country

This country is a Democracy. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. This is the way democracy SHOULD work.  

I have never ever before this seen one house of congress hold out against a LAW before they allow the government to be funded.  

Romans 13 says a great deal about leadership: 

"13 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. 4 For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. 5 Therefore you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing. 7 Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor."

You might not like who is in charge in the country BUT God is in charge and he has allowed them to be in charge. 

You might not agree with me and I encourage you to disagree with me if you feel so lead to do so.

There is a great deal of MIS-Information in this information age.  Don't just take anyone's word about the problems in this world.  Open your mind and research for yourself.  

The country became great because of our differences but is now being torn apart because of our differences.  

It is truly a sad day and we need to pray for the leadership in this country.  

J.

Giving it all away

Giving up or giving in, Not a concept most American take to very well.  Our history is full of people who made it by not giving up or giving in. In our walk with God, I think being American can be a draw back...Ingrained in our culture is the spirit to stand on one's own two feet and make it by the sweat of our brow and the labor of our hands. 

I do truly believe we take a step closer to God when we pray "God, I can't handle it (it being life, problems, concerns, worry, etc) any longer. I put it at your hands to deal with it and to let your will be done in this situation"....

You have just taken the strange step of relying less on your own devices and stepping on the faith and promises of God. God said " you have not, because you ask not."James 4:2.…and this is OH SO TRUE...or it has been for me in my Christian life over the years, but you better be asking for the right things with the right intentions in your heart. You don't need a whole load of faith because Jesus promised “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

The step from our known devices to giving our problem to God, lock stock and barrel, isn't that hard to do but it is the simple trust in a simple plan that God has control that gives us problem. I'm sure we all think "My problems are pretty big. Am  I 100% SURE God can handle all of that?" .....*gulp*....but but but....

But nothing. God said "Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you" 1 Peter5:7.....and that is a truth we can believe in but it isn't easy to take that first step of faith.  

The Bible goes on to say "25"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27"And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?…" Matthew 6:25 to 27..... However, who in this modern life lives like this??? It is pretty hard to wrap your mind around that considering all the modern things we have around us.  

For a worry wart like me, the statement "do not be worried about your life"...is a hard pill to swallow, but God cares for us a great deal and I know I haven't stopped to consider how much he does care for me but methinks I'll be thinking about it in the days to come.....

God is good or at least I can say he has been good to me. 

J. 

Nobody knows you......

A few weeks ago, I posted on Facebook:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owOGDEJr3ts (Eric Clapton's Signe, the first song on the 1992 Unplugged CD) and posted with it "a hard song to learn....but I'll get it figured out:"
Varda Epstein ask "You know how to play guitar and I didn't know".  My answer to her was it didn't come up much and that "I've been playing guitar on and off since I was 11 years old"...more off than on over the years.

Playing Guitar is like riding a bike...you never truly forget but you do lose the sharpness you once played with.  There was one song on Eric Clapton's Unplugged CD that I always liked. "Nobody knows you when your down and out" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aDykZEATzk  I have always liked music that speaks about the human condition and that song speaks volumes about the human condition.  I've always wanted to learn that song but in the 21 years since that CD came out, I've just never taken the time to do it.  I used to play guitar by ear.  I played pretty much anything I wanted without looking at music.  I remember sitting in my room at age 15 in the dark, playing something from John Denver and not missing a note...those days are long gone.  I've watched Eric's unplugged DVD and he played with such ease and he never misses note.  I envy his talent.  I'll never play that good ever again but now that the callouses are back on my left finger tips, I play a little every day just to keep my fingers in good shape. It was very painful to play enough to get callouses again. I don't think I want to lose those.

I learned to play guitar in the summer of 1974, using a black Les Paul copy without the aid of an amplifier. My hair was a great deal longer than it is now and my parent's didn't have central air conditioning at the time. I played a good bit until I got married in 1982. At that point all my money went to my new family.  I purchased a great many guitars over the years. a 12 string guitar for a great price because the neck was warped. I also purchased another Gibson Les Paul copy from J.C. Penny's. I lived in Fairbanks/North Pole AK at the time. While speaking with the J.C. Penny's catalog customer service person, I told the woman my name was Johnny Massengill and I lived in North Pole AK, Zip Code 99702. She said "Come on [so and so] stop joking with me"....and I had to break it to her that YES, I was Johnny Massengill, Airman First Class in the U.S.A.F. and that I really did live in North Pole AK and I did want the Sunburst orange Les Paul copy that was in the Christmas Catalog....she was a bit "gobsmacked" on the other end of the phone. I've never hear ANYONE apologize so much as that poor woman from J.C. Penny's did.  The guitar was beautiful but beauty doesn't make a guitar sound good.  It would seem that my Sunburst orange Les Paul copy wasn't made to exacting standards and the neck was out of tune with itself because the frets were not spaced as they should have been.  I could never get it in tune.  In 1987, when I moved to SC, I purchased an Aria Acoustic Guitar from Shaw Gate Pawn shop, right outside the front gate of Shaw AFB. It is still there and I got to be pretty good friends with the owners in the years that I lived in Sumter, SC. Someplace along the line I got a Fender Squire electric guitar. It is Fender's cheaper copy of their own Stratocaster, Much like the Epiphone Les Paul is a cheaper copy of Gibson's own Les Paul.  Gibson owns Epiphone so they get to make the cheaper versions of the Les Paul.

I do believe the Fender Squire and the Sunburst orange Les Paul copy both got taken to the pawn shop when money got tight. The Aria almost met the same fate but I got talked out of giving that guitar up.  It was hard to see them go out of my hand to the pawn shop but I needed the money SO badly at the time.

The Aria Acoustic Guitar is still with me. It looks like its been hit on the back of the neck with a hammer and it isn't pretty but it is one of the best playing Guitars I've ever played.  I let my Dad have it for a few months and he gave it back to me and it will stay with me until I'm in the ground. I also have a very nice copy of a round back Ovation (look up the guitar Melissa Etheridge plays.) and it plays very well and is a very comfortable guitar to hold and play.  I also have a Johnson Acoustic Guitar that I keep in the car for those days when I just need to get away from real life for a few seconds

I can think of only one guitar that I lack. A real Gibson Les Paul. I'm not sure why an old guy like me needs 4 guitars but I made myself a promise when I went in the Air Force that one day I would have a Gibson Les Paul. It hasn't happened yet but I'll get there.....

I first played a real Gibson Les Paul at Lynn's Guitars on Broadway in Knoxville in the mid 70's. It was a 1952 model Les Paul and it had had a hard life. It had nicks out of the paint and it didn't look good at all, but it PLAYED like a dream.  I've never played another guitar that fit my hands quite so good or maybe my old mind remembers it better than it really was.....  Today, in good condition that 1952 Gold Top Les Paul would pull down between $18,000 - $20,000

No more copies for me.  If I shell out the cash for another Les Paul it will be a true Gibson...

One day before they put me in the ground....one day.

J.

How time changes things

Depending on where you are at on the timeline of life might determine how you react to things that happen around you.

 

In my late teens, I was short with most anyone and like any teen, I thought I knew it all.... I sometimes think that is a right of passage we all go through.  

Take Randi, for instance.  I've know her since I was in my late 30's and I remember the first time I ask her to close a room door in my house. She closed it but didn't push it all the way latched.  Because of the influence of the U.S. Air Force in my life, it was either totally open or totally closed and I ask her to close it "all the way" and she did.  I'll never forget that moment.  As we have grown together, things have changed a bit.  One day at work, we somehow started discussing what would make us miss our husband or wife if they passed away suddenly.   For me, it was easy. Randi had some of her clothes in the hall closet of our old house. I could always tell when she had been in that closet, she would close the door but she wouldn't shut it "all the way".  I KNEW that 98% of the time that I put my hand on that closet door, it would shut "all the way" with a small push. 

When we moved to our new house in 2010, I told her "I wonder which closet you won't close all the way in the new house".  I could think of a few closets that might be in the running. The linen closet down the hall, any of the bedroom closets OR the Master bedroom closet.... Well, the Master Bedroom closet won out. 

I could have let her habit get under my skin but now it reminds me of the funny, silly Nurse, I married.   It is a a unique Randiism that reminds me of her and makes me smile

I was once so uptight that I thought about unimportant things way too much and didn't give enough thought about the important stuff.  I was missing the good stuff in life by being tripped up by the little background noises of life.  

Knowing what you can and can't change in life is very important and I know I'll never get Randi to close the Master Bedroom closet "all the way" but....its okay, I wouldn't want to change a thing......

J. 

Ich bin ein Juden

Ich bin ein Juden.  

To borrow from John F. Kennedy's famous speech to West Berlin on June 26, 1963. I must say "I am a Jew".  I don't have Jewish blood lines and I didn't convert to the Jewish faith, but , from a standpoint of support and beliefs about the Jewish Homeland and the right of the Jewish people to live in the small bit of land called Israel, I stand shoulder to shoulder with my Jewish brothers and sisters.  They have a historic right to the land and that history is twisted at every turn to try and wrestle away that historic right.

I believe that the Jews are God's chosen people as is related in Deuteronomy 7:6 "For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth." and is also spoken of in Genesis 12:2-3 "2 And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed."

The recent talks between Israel and The Palestinian Authority being overseen by U.S. Secretary of State, John F. Kerry includes all the items such talks have included before. A release of prisoners, a retraction to the borders of 1967. If any State outside of the U.S. suggested to us to release all manor of murders and terrorist back into society, we would tell them that there is no way in hell that such a release would be allowed to happen, yet Israel is always ask to release prisoners and/or land as a way to seek peace.  The 104 people who are being released from Israeli custody have taken countless lives, some of them American Citizens and the people of Israel are outraged by this being approved by Israeli Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu.  I can understand their frustration with the leader of their country selling out for the purpose of "peace". I am also outraged the USA has a hand in asking for release of people who killed Americans. This should not happen, EVER. 

The PLO charter STILL speaks of the elimination of the Jewish State and has not been changed. Article 15 of the PLO charter states "The liberation of Palestine, from an Arab viewpoint, is a national (qawmi) duty and it attempts to repel the Zionist and imperialist aggression against the Arab homeland, and aims at the elimination of Zionism in Palestine. Absolute responsibility for this falls upon the Arab nation - peoples and governments - with the Arab people of Palestine in the vanguard. Accordingly, the Arab nation must mobilize all its military, human, moral, and spiritual capabilities to participate actively with the Palestinian people in the liberation of Palestine. It must, particularly in the phase of the armed Palestinian revolution, offer and furnish the Palestinian people with all possible help, and material and human support, and make available to them the means and opportunities that will enable them to continue to carry out their leading role in the armed revolution, until they liberate their homeland."  Another note on that webpage states "however, that the PLO's translation sometimes deviates from the original Arabic so as to be more palatable to Western readers. For example, in Article 15, the Arabic is translated as "the elimination of Zionism," whereas the correct translation is "the liquidation of the Zionist presence." "The Zionist presence" is a common Arabic euphemism for the State of Israel, so this clause in fact calls for the destruction of Israel, not just the end of Zionism."  

How in the world can you have a two state solution for peace when the other side is calling for your "liquidation" or "elimination"????? You can't. Its as simple as that.  

On The Patriot's Corner blog  there are a collection of verses "♦ From the Qur’an:
Qur'an (16:106) - Establishes that there are circumstances that can "compel" a Muslim to tell a lie.
Qur'an (3:28) - This verse tells Muslims not to take those outside the faith as friends, unless it is to "guard themselves." 
Qur'an (9:3) - "...Allah and His Messenger are free from liability to the idolaters..." The dissolution of oaths with the pagans who remained at Mecca following its capture. They did nothing wrong, but were evicted anyway.
Qur'an (40:28) - A man is introduced as a believer, but one who must "hide his faith" among those who are not believers.
Qur'an (2:225) - "Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts"
Qur'an (66:2) - "Allah has already ordained for you, (O men), the dissolution of your oaths"
Qur'an (3:54) - "And they (the disbelievers) schemed, and Allah schemed (against them): and Allah is the best of schemers." The Arabic word used here for scheme (or plot) is makara, which literally means deceit. If Allah is deceitful toward unbelievers, then there is little basis for denying that Muslims are allowed to do the same. (See also 8:30 and 10:21)
Taken collectively these verses are interpreted to mean that there are circumstances when a Muslim may be "compelled" to deceive others for a greater purpose."

Hmmmm its pretty hard to have a peace settlement with a group that can deceive you and dissolve oaths according to the words of their holy book???

All of that is pretty heavy stuff and I'm ashamed that my elected government has and has had a hand in pushing the people of Israel toward a peace table to deal with a group that wants them wiped off the face of the earth.....*head spinning around in confusion and shock*

I have seen ""can't we all just coexist"  bumper stickers but it is darned hard to "coexist" with a group that chants "Death to Israel, Death to America" someplace in the Middle East on a daily basis.  This isn't just about Israel but it is also about the good old USA too and very few Americans seem to realize this fact.

I'm not usually prone to political rants BUT, I believe our great country, The USA, is going down the drain and our treatment of Israel is one of the biggest reason for this.

Regardless of  what I think, God knows more about the outcome of all of this than I can even begin to form in my mind, but where it relates to the Jewish people and the Jewish homeland and the right of the Jewish people to occupy that homeland, I can say proudly, "I am a Jew"

J.

12 April 1996, A day which will live in infamy

12 April, 1996, A day which will live in infamy. No, Pearl Harbor didn't get attacked again on that date.  It was the day I found out the important people in my life.

The day started like any other. Up at 5:30 or 6:00 am, fix breakfast for Christopher and I, Feed Shep, our dog, and then the triple "S" (shit, shower and shave). I tried to leave for work about 7:00am while I was in the Air Force. I enjoyed walking around the office, drink a cup of coffee or two and prepare for the class I was going to teach that morning. The class I was teaching that morning was yearly "Block Training". It was about 7 or 8 different sections in the class, everything from Self-Aid Buddy care to ejection seat training.  50 minutes of teaching and a 10 minute break every hour.  We always had about 40 Airman in class.  I had been teaching at that time about 3 years and REALLY had a great deal of fun teaching most days.

I was sitting at my desk, having a debate with another instructor about something and the phone on my desk rang. It was the Sumter County Sheriff's department. They went on to tell me that Christopher was ok but he had shot through his left hand with a small .25 pistol I had stored in an outside shed.   I was crushed!  I had a #2 pencil in my right hand that I crushed in to 5 pieces when the shock of what I had been told hit me. I was stunned.

I turned my seat around and my boss was standing right there. I told him what had happened and I was off to Tuomey Hospital about as fast as I could go.  Truth be told, I went from Shaw AFB to Tuomey Hospital about 80mph all the way down Broad street and didn't get a speeding ticket.  The 1991 Ford Escort I had got driven very hard that day.

When I got to the room Christopher was in, I walked in and the first words out of my mouth were "I guess you know you're grounded" The answer he gave me was a weak "yes sir". He was 12 years old.  For as much as I was about half mad, I was 100% heart broken seeing my only child suffering so.  I had been given that .25 pistol by a guy because I helped him fix his car and he had a small child in his house and didn't need a gun around the house.  When I got it home, I took the magazine and bullets out of the gun, and I let Christopher look at it because I KNEW he liked guns. He always has liked guns. I also told him NOT to touch that gun unless I let him and I was with him and I remember telling him that 3 different times.

Well, he had broken my rule about that and he was paying for it in a big way AND he was grounded....not a good day for my kid.

It was a comedy of errors as to how my son came to have my pistol in his hand and it came to be loaded. I usually kept the gun in the outside shed and the bullets and magazine in the house, away from each other. Seems I had a neighbor who was a drug dealer and an alcoholic and he was rarely sober most days. The weekend before he had been in his front yard, yelling and screaming up a storm and he wasn't shy about who he talked to or about what he talked about....he was a really messed up guy.  He seemed to be trying to engage me in conversation about something or other....... Trust me on this, you can't talk to anyone who is drunk or high.....it just doesn't work well. I had a feeling he might try to come raise cane in my front yard. I got the gun from the shed, the magazine from my nightstand and I loaded the pistol and put in my pocket. If he decided to bring his conversation in my yard, I was going to blow his kneecap clean off..... Well, as the day wore on, my drunk/high neighbor finally went back into his house and I put the gun back in the shed BUT I didn't remove the magazine from the pistol and I didn't remove the bullet from the chamber I had ready to shoot if it came to that.....I had never shot that weapon and knew that it was darn near brand new and was mostly unused.

Christopher told me he climbed up on the freezer and removed the gun from an old wok I had purchased someplace. He said he was trading it from his right hand to his left hand when it went off. After the bullet went through his hand, it lodged in the wooden door facing of the shed.  God blessed my son that morning. For all he had done wrong, he then proceeded to walk back in the house, stop the bleeding on his hand, call 911, walked out in the front yard to flag down the sheriff when he missed the house.  I'm not sure an adult could have kept it together quite so good.

It all turned out well in the end. The hospital patched him up and we told him to tell his friends he had his hand slammed in a car door and leave it at that if anyone ask about his hand.  It made me realize that for as hard as a child is to raise some days, it really did hurt my heart to see him hurting, no matter what the reason.

He really didn't get grounded.  When he came back home and saw the trail of blood on the carport and in the kitchen, he lost it in a way I had never seen him breakdown before.  I remember walking into the living room and he was still crying a bit and I told him....."I've never seen you this tore up about anything, you aren't grounded, go be a 12 year old and play with Shep. Go be a kid, we will work out some sort of punishment later on".....It just seemed to me that he was hurting enough between his ears and I didn't need to pile any more hurt on him.  The punishment I worked out was I made him draw a picture of Bugs Bunny as the King of England out of a Looney Tunes book I had. He was/is a really good artist. Its a beautiful drawing and I still have it and it is the one thing I have from Christopher that is very special to me, besides my granddaughters....

12 April, 1996 wasn't a great day but I found out how much I loved my kid, even if he did do something stupid....he might have made a stupid mistake, but he was ALIVE and very lucky.

Having never shot that pistol, I took it out in my back yard a few days later and shot it at a pine tree just to see how loud it was.  I was outside and my ears rang a bit.....I can only imagine the noise of the shot, the shock of being hurt and my son still had the presents of mind to help himself get help at the house.  I guess when the chips are down you really don't realize how able you might be until you are under pressure.  I'm sure it wasn't easy for him.  I was very proud of how he kept his head screwed on straight even after the confusion of such an accident.

The pistol is in a bunch of pieces now and I've never put it back together or shot it again.....I still have it but it will stay in pieces.....because of one day, a very long time ago.

Thanks Christopher for allowing me to write this.....I'm not sure why it was on my mind.  Love you!

J.