The Daily ACK! 1/14/2012 Addiction

This could be very adult: You have been warned! 
ACK! I have said before that I grew up around addiction. My Dad's addiction to alcohol ruled my life at a young age. The reason I don't drink more than I do has a great deal to do with the things that aren't shown in ads for alcohol or cigarettes. The negative side of both of those products and the effects they have fill books.

I have a different problem...it isn't anything illegal and it isn't sniffing bicycle seats when people aren't looking. My one truly bad habit is:

COKE.

USDA, Atlanta Georgia made Cola Beverage. Pepsi will do in a rush and I'll even drink third party knock off brands of what ever cola I can lay my hands on. 

For as bad as my problem is, it isn't terrible. There is no such thing as people bitching about "2nd hand coke" and the hospitals aren't filled with folks who have C.O.P.D. from drinking a cola beverage...(I would say the caffeine might push a person's blood  pressure up a bit or two).  I've never sold nude photos of myself to support my habit or performed wild public sex acts to be able to afford my addiction.  There are no half way houses of former cola addicts or meetings where you stand up and say "My name is Johnny and I'm a beverage addict" I can walk proudly into the store with my head held high and buy my addiction of choice without small kids looking at me with horror in their eyes while asking a parent "What is wrong with THAT man Daddy?" *twitch*...."Nothing son, just a slight coke problem"

Once, while in the military, at a crowded but quiet Post sports bar, I exclaimed loudly "You know the worst part of sniffing coke?" You could have heard a pin drop.... and then I said the answer "The Bubbles!" You could almost hear the whole place take a deep sigh...it was rather funny.

It is a funny sort of problem but I think part of it comes from watching my dad drink alcohol as a kid. I watched him drink beer out of a can more often than I can remember. I never buy a 2 liter bottle of cola, it is almost always 12 ounce cans of cola. (We did get a pizza on special from Little Ceaser's that included a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi a few weeks ago )...for some reason, to me, the CAN is important.

Caffeine-free drinks or coffee are for the birds. It just isn't the same. The taste is totally off. I will admit to having problems getting my fat ass moving some mornings..why not drink something that will help put a BOOT in my fat ass to make it move better!  All a noble and worthwhile cause but....my overall health is SO much better without the weight of Caffeinated cola beverage hanging around my neck...*sigh*

I remember watching my poor Dad give up smoking, salt, and caffeine (in that order) at age 49 and I told him "Damn, you can't even have a bad habit anymore."  I am at that point in my life. For as much as I wanted to follow in my Dad's footsteps....THIS is a little closer than I wanted to be to my Dad's footsteps. One big difference between me and my Dad is that my chance of getting C.O.P.D. is a great deal less than his was at age 49. Oh well...it isn't a perfect dream, but it is my dream and so it has turned out.

I've gone off Coke two other times in my life and the reach of Caffeine has called me back louder each time. I have to get this off my back, but there is ONE problem. I LOVE the stuff.  Yes sir, you read that right. I LOVE the stuff....the problem is, it doesn't love me back. As it is with so many things in life, the one you love is bad for you. Ah wrenched mistress of the beverage, will you EVER release your grip on me?

Where do I go from here? I don't know and I'm having problems with all the problems in my life right now. My waist line has a mind of its own and putting off ANY habit is just so much harder right now. I'm not sure WHY.  The things I once gave up with ease just 10 years ago are giving me problems now.  I'm not fucking happy about this at all. I'm not happy with myself and the LACK of my ability to be able to walk away from a legal drink that has an effect on my health. I'm not fucking happy about it at all. I truly don't feel like suffering the headaches and stuffed up head that caffeine withdrawal will bring me.  Well SELF, sounds like a Mexican Standoff to me, just without all the Mexican's...

I try very hard to stay positive and to look on the bright side of life and the Norwegian Blue....but I'm in a bit of a spot....I'm tired of worrying about going to the Dr's office and worrying about my blood pressure or my glucose level or my weight or my balding head or my flat feet or my fat ass....blah, blah, blah, blah, Fucking BLAH!

I kind of feel about myself like Clark Griswold does about his boss in Christmas Vacation....:

.....I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

If that quote were written today, it would most likely have "meth-head" in there too, but you get the idea.

Something has GOT to change and its the man in the mirror's job to change it.
All this work and only me to do it.  well....I might get Randi's help, you never can tell.

J.

The Daily ACK 1/8/2012 This FROST me a good bit!

A few days ago I started getting odd email's from people I didn't know telling me they were R.S.V.P. for a Luncheon on 9 Jan 2012. ....this isn't the first time this has happened. I seem to get mail that should go to someone else named Massengill. Our email addresses differ by only one letter. This has been going on for at least 5 years if not longer. One night, a few years ago, I decided to see if I could find out about this person and I found out who she is married to, what college she graduated from and what year....and other important information without even trying hard. All it took was Google.com, a name and a town name.....but I digress!

When I got these email's, I wrote the sender back and informed them of the correct address for their R.S.V.P.  
At such point that I started getting a good bunch of said R.S.V.P. email's, I searched for the organization on the Internet and found the email address of the director of the organization. I wrote the organization's director:

I have been informed that my email address has been given out as (someone else named Massengill)'s email address for the 9 Jan 2012 Luncheon.
I am not (someone else named Massengill) and her email address is XXXXXXXXXXXX@XXXXXXXX (please note there is only one "L" at the end of her name)
Please make sure you announce the corrected address  on your web page or by phone. It would be a shame for people to miss your luncheon because of having the wrong email address to RSVP to.

Thank you
Johnny Massengill

His answer was as follows:

Mr. Massengill,
We are SOOOOO sorry. This was a printing error. Please, please forward these to (someone else named massengill at the correct address) or (someone else's email)
We really do apologize for the error. We were wondering why we had not gotten responses from several folks. It is important to us that we get a good headcount for our event.

Signed by the director of this organization......

My answer back to him was as follows:

I'm an innocent person in all of this and this isn't the first time I've had this problem. I get a great deal of (some other person named )Massengill's email.

(for the record, I've gotten her country club bill, her church news letter, The newsletter of the lawn and garden company she uses, email's from the public library, email's from many of her friends...one of which I had to write 3 different times to say that I WAS NOT her friend...and I STILL get email from this person! This latest bunch of email about this luncheon has generated 46 email's !!! It is almost as if this woman doesn't know her own email address! I know that ANYTIME I receive email concerning a certain geographic area, it isn't for me. I don't have family or friends in that area and I've never even been there!)

For as much as I understand your activities, It is not my job to ensure the email for this luncheon arrives at the correct place or is forwarded to the correct person. I have ask that you put the corrected information on your website for all to see.
I don't monitor my email daily and it is your organization's problem to ensure that the correct information is given in the future.
For as sorry as you might be about this problem, think of how you would feel if a total stranger ask you to be responsible to ensure information was passed on at the cost of your time and effort???? This isn't my problem, it is the problem of your organization!
I'm sure  you have a wonderful group that does a great deal of good in your community but I don't live there. I only have so much time and effort for the pursuits of my own life and in my own community.

and a BIG ACK! to all of this! I'm totally shocked that a person that i don't know would even CONSIDER to ask me to forward a bunch of  email to the correct person! GAH! ACK! and GAH! again!

*stepping off my soap box*
J.

The Daily ACK 12/26/2011 Febreze Experiment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlw-ypNat7Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=s1bOm4KfLlU 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FrSsKtVjt8&feature=related

ACK! Febreze has a bunch of  TV ads that show blindfolded people going to a nasty smelly place that has been sprayed by Febreze. The people in the blindfold talk about how good it smells or the smells they are smelling. They take their blindfolds off and are surprised by how nasty the area really is because they couldn't smell the true smells because Febreze is SOOOO good!   I CALL BULL$#!+

I was born on a day but I wasn't born YESTERDAY! Forgive my strong language but I just don't believe Febreze is that good of a product. I don't believe those ads at all true. Even Randi, who is quiet as a mouse, doesn't believe those ads are true.

If I took my blindfold off and saw such a nasty place, I would gag!  Bad smells bother me to no end. Walking into a dirty bathroom just turns my gut over. ACK!

Speaking of truth in advertising....I'm also opposed to the use of blue fluid in diaper ads. Why not yellow or brown fluid? I didn't say it would be any less gross, but it would be more truthful. If you found blue fluid in your child's diaper you would flip! I'm also not crazy about ads for female needs. Not that there is anything wrong with having an ad for such needs but the whole "Have a happy period" is just going a little too far.

I would guess being named after a female hygiene product has warped me a good bit...*twitch*

Ok, I'm off my soapbox!
Happy Day after Christmas! 

J.

The Daily ACK 12/14/2011 The other woman in my life

Sophie at the Dr. Aug, 2009

Sophie, we got her 22 Oct, 2008

I'm being good, HONEST!

ACK! 22 October, 2008, My life changed. I had another woman come into my life. Our relationship started kind of rocky but we made it work. 

We got Sophie due to a phone call I got at work in October 2008 from my friend Karen James. She told me about a female doxie that a friend of hers wanted to give away or the dog would go to the Sumter A.S.P.C.A. I called Randi and we decided to take a look and see what we thought. We had thought about another Doxie but we wanted a black and tan male Doxie. At the time I didn't get off from work until 5:30pm and then something had happened to keep me there even later.  I got to a point that I could leave my work and I met Randi at a very nice house near downtown Sumter. I walked into the house and Sophie's owner was holding her and we all talked about the dogs and why she was wanting to give away Sophie. Seems Sophie hadn't gotten the hang of potty training.  While we were talking, Sophie started squirming in her owner's arms and she ask Randi "What do you think this dog wants?" and Randi said "I think she needs to go outside"....so outside we all went, Randi, myself and Sophie's owner. Upon getting down, Sophie shot outside and was chasing squirrels from tree to tree. We never saw her "do" anything while outside, if you know what I mean.....

When we got back in the house, I got Sophie up in my arms for the first time. It was love at first paw, for me at least. Sophie wasn't real strong on anyone holding her and she still is kind of a "touch me not" sometimes. The deed was done and we decided to bring Sophie to the nut house with the rest of us cracked nuts!

The first few days at the nut house were different for Sophie. She met Dylan and Dylan went a little doggie NUTS over her....it was very much like "HEY!!! that's a girl! WHOO HOO!"  Poor Dylan tried every way in the world to mount Sophie....men are SUCH pigs sometimes. Sophie was a nervous girl. You could look at her wrong and WHAM..she would tinkle on the floor. It took about a month for her to get the message about going outside. We always take our dogs out on a leash and the first few times outside were interesting. Sophie wanted to chase squirrels and we had leash in our hand to redirect her "efforts".

Sophie's arrival caused a change with Dylan too. Sophie slept in a crate and was used to sleeping in a crate. Dylan had always slept with us. Seven years of sleeping on the bed. It had come to the point that Dylan and I had begun to fight for who took up most of the bed! If one dog could sleep in the crate, Dylan could sleep in the crate! His first few nights in the crate were unhappy for Dylan but he now goes to bed without a problem.

Sophie is a lot of things. Sassy, hard headed, to name a few. She is driven by food. after a second round of back trouble in Dec 2010, we put our dogs on the "Doggie Diet" A half a cup of food in the morning and another half cup at 5:00pm.  The second diet day, at 5:30am, Sophie ate her half cup of food and then she pushed her bowl toward me with her noise so as to say "HEY, how about some FOOD in this bowl!" She still isn't crazy about the whole diet thing.

When I walk in at night, there Sophie stands at the door....then to her doggie bed to get a tummy rub from dad! (I make her go to her doggie bed for a tummy rub because she sometimes gets excited and she will tinkle just a tiny bit...I would rather wash a dog bed than make the carpet nasty)

She is good to the core and I love the stuffing out of her. We wouldn't trade her for the world!

J.

The Daily ACK 12/13/2011 Rhythm

ACK! My life is in a bit of a twist right now. For one, I'm up at midnight writing this, which means I'm not sleeping when I should be....

My lovely wife, Randi, is in Minnesota with her sister, Robbie. Seems Robbie's husband, Eddie, fell on the front walk of their house and broke his right arm and gave himself a good whack to the head. The day I looked at Randi and told her to go help her sister, Eddie wasn't doing so good.  He had been operated on for a perforated bowl. The Doctors said he would be lucky to make it to 7:00am the next morning.. Talk about ACK!  Seems Eddie did make it to the next day and seems to be turning toward getting well.  All of this is good news. Randi still went to Minnesota with my blessing.

The day I dropped Randi off at the airport, I drove to a remote site to install some network equipment. When I got to the site and connected everything, I found a fiber connection between two buildings didn't work. Repairing fiber is a special thing that I can't do. I had to tell the people I was working for that I couldn't do what I came to do because of a broken piece of fiber....ACK! I had to get back in the car and go back to the main office. At the office we changed out our firewalls. The guys that stayed at work till the firewalls were replaced were at it until 3:00am! I left at 10:30pm because I had two dogs, Dylan and Sophie, at home with no one there to let them out!

I fell in bed about 11:00pm but they called me from work until about 2:30am. My Saturday was SHOT! It took until 1:00pm before I got moving good. Then Sunday morning, I realized that I forgot my Saturday night meds....Randi being gone threw off the rhythm of my day. I don't blame my goof on my wife being gone BUT you must realize her being gone is like losing my right arm.  You sometimes don't realize how your life and her life fits together in a million small ways until they are missing.

Here lately I've told Randi in every way I know how that she means the world to me.  That wonderful woman feels just right in my hands, close to me.  I like her more than just a little bit. Is our marriage perfect? No...but it is very good most days.  I think I finally calmed down and got it in my thick skull that she isn't going anyplace.

We are a bunch of "yours, mine and ours" we each bring something different to this relationship but it all melts together into a team. I'm pretty happy with US, even with her being so far away.

Sunday, the day she comes back home, can't come fast enough. I miss her.

J.

The Daily ACK 12/3/2011 Things I just don't get...

ACK!  In my life I've seen things I just don't understand. These are a few of those thing.
1.When you sign into a website and they have that check box that says.....

Why, in the WORLD do they (i.e. website) want to keep you signed in ALL THE TIME. Checking that box is a very insecure act. If anyone else gets to your computer and goes to that website, they will be able to get into your information with no problem at all. They wouldn't even need to have your password at that point. I just don't get it.

2. Why does the PLANET GREEN channel show almost anything but GREEN (recycling and sustainable energy usage) related programs. Every Saturday  is Egypt day and they also show lots of paranormal programing In the channel description on DirecTV it says "Planet Green is the first-ever 24/7 eco-lifestyle television network!! Add substance to your style with a mainstream look at a world going green...." OH REALLY! not from what I've see showing on that channel.

3. I don't get why U.S. policy toward Israel seems to be changing.  Genesis 12:3 God tells Abraham "And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed."  Mark my words. If the USA turns our back on the Nation of  Israel, we will be in bad shape.

4. When did politics become a blood sport? I've said it before and I'll say it again and I say it to both parties. DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR THIS COUNTRY, NOT WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOUR REELECTION TO OFFICE! Have the guts enough to step off the gravy train and see how your actions as an elected official effects the average everyday Americans. The inaction of our elected officials is driving this country into the ground. 

5. In the media, when talking about the economy, they always talk about "not taxing the job creators in the country". I have never heard ANYONE refer or talk about "I'm going to start a business to create 45 jobs" they talk about "With my going into business, I can make a PROFIT..."  They make business men sound like such nice people for all this "creation" of jobs when, in fact they are interested in making a profit.. If they create a few jobs along the way, GREAT, but job creation isn't their first thought!

6. What is with all the women who kill their children? I can think of  a few high profile cases. Susan Smith and her two kids in SC and Andrea Yates, who drowned her five kids in Texas. Considering the number of people who can't have kids and would LOVE to have a child I find it shocking that a parent would think that killing their offspring would make anything better or improve their situation. Not to let men off the hook, think of  John Emil List who killed his family in 1971 because he had lost his job and was drowning in debt and though that going on welfare would bring the family ridicule.

I'm sure if I sit here and think long enough I could think of other things I don't "get"....but at this time I'm all ACKed out!

J.

The Daily ACK 12/2/2011 More Thoughts on Alaska

Alaska, The Great Land. The largest state in the USA.
You don't realize how large Alaska is until  you live there.  I lived in "The Great Land" from 12 Dec 1984 until 12 July 1987. There is an old joke about a Texan going to Alaskan bar. He ask "Since Alaska is the largest state in the union now, how do I become a TRUE Alaskan". The Bartender says "Well, it will take 3 things to become a TRUE Alaskan. 1) Drink a pint of Yukon Jack whiskey, 2) Make love to an Eskimo girl and 3) Kill a Polar Bear with your bare hands.  The Texan picks up the pint of Yukon Jack whiskey and drinks it down and then runs out of the bar to look for the other two things he needs to become an Alaskan.  About an hour later, the Texan walks back in to the bar with scratches all over him and says "Now where is that Eskimo girl I have to kill....."....

The first time I heard Johnny Horton's North To Alaska was in Fairbanks. The group of people I ran around with in Alaska had a 45 RPM vinyl record of "North To Alaska" and we passed it around to new people who came to Eielson AFB. 

It is said as a joke that the mosquito is the Alaskan State bird...(The state bird is really the Willow Ptarmigan). The more snow there is during the winter, the more mosquito's there will be during the summer. you will swear the mosquito's could almost carry you away.  As far as the real state bird, the Willow Ptarmigan, they are ground nesting birds and they can fly but they don't fly very often. Don't get caught hunting a Willow Ptarmigan in Alaska, its against the law.

As I have said before, I don't hunt or fish, however, I did go fishing twice in two and a half years in Alaska. A good eating fish in Alaska was an Arctic grayling. As long as you dressed them and put them right on the fire after catching them, grayling were good eating. You can't freeze an Arctic grayling. They turn to mush if you freeze them. As far as ocean fish, Pacific halibut was the finest eating fish I ever ate.  Halibut have one large backbone that dissects 4 large pieces of meat. Other than their backbone, Halibut are almost boneless.

My memories are of a great bunch of friends that have been scattered by military service.  I remember meeting a guy named Frank who hung around the pizza restaurant I used to frequent in North Pole AK.  Seems Frank had two granddaughters in Catholic School in Fairbanks. His granddaughters ask him "How do they (the church) appoint a new Pope." Frank told those girls that the new Pope was the previous Pope's oldest son. It seems his granddaughters went to school and told the teacher (a nun) what their grandfather had told them.  Frank's daughter got called to the school because of what her dad had told her daughters and as I remember Frank telling us that his daughter "wasn't very happy" with him.

I spoke to Christopher and Lindsey yesterday and I ask them, "What is the temperature right now?" They told me is was 3 degrees above zero Fahrenheit. I said "Oh, you are having a heat wave!" They told me the locals thought so but they were COLD! Oh well...the first winter in Alaska is the worst winter.

I'm all ACKed out!
J.